I'll Go Where You Want Me To Go

I am constantly seeking to be better in every aspect of my life. Recently we have been discussing ethics, which for many is what they use to make important decisions.

Sister Sheri Dew, gave a talk to BYU-I students in 2004 entitled True Blue, Through and Through.She was able to connect with my struggle to find the line of where I stand when she said "You and I live in a world filled with pressure–pressure to accomplish, pressure to get ahead, pressure to conform,
pressure to be popular. And so on. None of us are perfect. We all 
have flaws. How then, under repeated
pressure, may we avoid allowing small cracks in our integrity
 to form so that we can do what we came here to do? How can we stay true blue– to ourselves, to others, and to our Father and His Son?"

As I have pondered on what it was that truly helps me make decisions I discovered that it is really my desire to do what it is that the Lord would have me do. Of course there are a few values that I have that drive decision making process. Some of the ones that I have been able to specifically pick out were: spirituality, happiness, obedience, integrity, love, virtue, family and compassion(including compassionate service!) I am not sure exactly how these values all come together to form the person that I am today, but I do know that I live in a way that will help me to become who it is God wants me to be.

Sister Dew continues, "True to yourself, meaning who you are as a son or daughter of God, and who you are 
in the process of becoming. True to others, meaning that you do what you say 
you will do. And true to God, meaning that you practice what you preach and that 
you are doing what you covenanted to do here in mortality." I cannot thing of a better reason for me to live the way that I do, other than the reason to stay true to God. If I am striving to stay true to God, then I will make the decisions that are going to lead me to become what it is God wants me to become.

For me then, my code of ethics is then: If it isn't what my Heavenly Father wants or if it isn't going to help me become what my Heavenly Father wants, then I don't want it either. My sincere desire is to become what Heavenly Father has designed be to become and to do my best so that I can make Him, "well pleased" in me.

Building Muscles

Easy to see by such a critical eye, we all have weaknesses. And the most critical eyes are our own. We tend to compare ourselves with others and it is usually us comparing our weaknesses to others' strengths. Because we tend to do the comparing to others we forget to look for our strengths because we are feeling so worthless because we can only see how others are better than us. I really enjoyed the recent conference talk given by President Uchtdorf entitled Forget Me Not because he touched on this subject. He said, "I want to tell you something that I hope you will take in the right way: God is fully aware that you and I are not perfect.Let me add: God is also fully aware that the people you think are perfect are not. And yet we spend so much time and energy comparing ourselves to others—usually comparing our weaknesses to their strengths. This drives us to create expectations for ourselves that are impossible to meet. As a result, we never celebrate our good efforts because they seem to be less than what someone else does. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses." Though I have always been taught this principle, it is so comforting to hear from a humble servant of God whom I really admire. Uchtdorf then goes on to say, "It’s wonderful that you have strengths. And it is part of your mortal experience that you do have weaknesses. God wants to help us to eventually turn all of our weaknesses into strengths, but He knows that this is a long-term goal. He wants us to become perfect, and if we stay on the path of discipleship, one day we will. It’s OK that you’re not quite there yet. Keep working on it, but stop punishing yourself. Dear sisters, many of you are endlessly compassionate and patient with the weaknesses of others. Please remember also to be compassionate and patient with yourself." What better message for me at this time in my life while I am surrounded by such talented people. While walking around campus I often think about how everyone is so talented, they play multiple instruments, sing, dance, are involved in multiple athletics and on top of that are able to stay involved in church and school and keep up their grades. It's so easy for me to get discouraged because I think, I don't play any instruments, don't sing like a star, only run on occasion, and am trying my best to keep up with school. I often have to call my mom when I am feeling down because she is not as critical of me. She is able to point out my strengths and suggests ways that I can use those strengths to help serve others.

She often reminds me of the service that I was able to provide for the sisters in my Relief Society last year. I would often do little things to help others feel loved or of worth and many times it was just to brighten their day a little. I would write little notes, show up at random times with treats, or simply sit and listen. At the time I didn't think of it of more than me being a friend to them, but as my mom points out to me I was using my talents to help. I was developing those talents and abilities and making them my strengths. Now I know that I have a strength in looking after others and being Heavenly Father's hands in loving His children.

It is easy to get down because comparing is just part of being human. It is a talent to be able to recognize the talents and strengths that Heavenly Father has blessed you with and to be able to utilize those talents to serve others. I am going to try to not only recognize one thing each day that I was able to accomplish because of my strength, but to try a small thing each day to strengthen my weaknesses so that I am being obedient and making my weaknesses become strengths.

Be the Person the People Want

Being a people person is sometimes looked down upon. I tend to think of these people as people that are willing to give up anything (including their beliefs) to gain the approval of others. This is not so much a bad thing at a small level. Such as the sacrifices that parents (mothers in particular) make on a daily basis to make sure that their children are happy and know they are loved. But it is when a person is willing to go against their beliefs to make people happy, that it becomes dangerous. For leaders, the challenge is to find a balance between doing what those you lead want and what you want based off of your beliefs, standards, and the vision you have.

In lab on Monday we learned a lot of helpful tips to achieving this balance. These were presented as the Six Ways to Make People Like You. The title might lead one to think that it is a forcing matter, however, it's actually more about changing little things about yourself personally that make you more attractive to other people. Though I am not sure anyone can become perfect in each six areas, I know that I am no where near many leaders that I have had. One of the most recent is Natalie McKay Pennington. She was my Relief Society President last year and has become a really good friend of mine within the past year. Some people are born with these natural abilities and I think that she might be one of those people, but she has set such a good example to me and makes me want to be better.

1)Become genuinely interested in other people. Natalie constantly has something going on in her life. I don't understand how she gets everything done at the end of the day, but regardless of how busy she is, she always remembers to ask how people are doing. This simple thing is something that is normally done in passing and little is actually expressed in this, but Natalie stops whatever she is doing to listen. She doesn't just listen to her friends, she would stop and listen to anyone that needs to talk. She is able to say what that specific person needs to hear because she listens and really cares about that person.
2)Smile. Natalie is such a friendly person and is able to pull off a smile even if she isn't having a very good day.
3)Remember that a person's name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language. Natalie works really hard to memorize names. She has been in many leadership positions and yet she is still able to get to know people at least by their names. She knows how important it is to call people by their names and makes sure to say their name when she sees them. She greets people happily and warmly starting with the words that they know best, their own name.
4)Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves. As part of showing that she is interested in other's lives, Natalie takes the time to listen to the struggles, joys, and whatever else the people want to talk about. There have been nights that Natalie was tired and at the end of her rope, but she would sit and talk to me because she knew that I needed to vent. She wouldn't necessarily need to say anything because I just needed someone to listen and show that they cared about me.
5)Talk in terms of the other person's interest. Natalie has many relationships with people on various levels, and yet she is able to speak on their level and about things that they are passionate about. She doesn't only think about herself and her own passions, but she is willing to learn more about others in order to be able to talk on their level.
6)Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely. Natalie is really good at reminding people who they are as Children of God. She doesn't stick with one group of people, but branches out and talks to those who look like they are lonely. Many Sundays after meetings, she would walk up to someone that had been sitting alone or looked particularly sad. She would gather them in her arms with a gentle bear hug and then would check up to see how they were doing. They might have just felt like a lonely person without a big purpose, but she gives sincere complements or advise that lets those people feel of her love.

Natalie may never know how much I look up to her for not only being a person that people liked, but for being such a good and inspiring leader. It's not so much doing and thinking everything that will make others happy, it is more about being kind and considerate. It takes a little more effort to reach out or to memorize a name, but the lives that you can touch and the difference that you can make are so rewarding. Every long night listening, every smile, or every kind gesture does not go unnoticed by at least one. The blessings of being someone that everyone likes goes far beyond just knowing that you are liked, it is far reaching and eternal.