Conflicting Conflicts

Side note: My highest score was actually accommodating, but there weren't any questions for that particular type so I just used my second highest type.

Why compromise?
Compromise is a way to deal with issues temporarily or within a time limit. However, it is sometimes the only way that people use to deal with their conflicts. This can cause some problems because it might cause some to feel like their leader lacks the power to lead in decision making. Sometimes it is just the way that the leader chooses to "keep the peace" among those involved.

I only have a personal critic of myself, but I feel that I don't focus too heavily on compromise that I forget my values. Though compromise is good, I have made decisions early in my life about not making compromises my standards and my values for others. It sometimes makes conflicts harder when it is a issue of values and standards because I know that I cannot lower mine to meet somewhere in the middle for other people. I make it a priority when entering a conflict to know before hand how my standards are going to effect the decision making process. In these situations, I feel that compromise doesn't show weakness or a lack of trust as some might think, but it shows strength and integrity; two very important qualities of leaders.

Collaborating...my supposed weakness. So why is it so hard? I would agree that sometimes it is hard to see a joint gain or a win win situation when solving conflicts. However,it does not mean that I see it as impossible. Collaborating is the best way to solve a problem if all are willing to give their input and then work through all the ideas to come up with the best. This sounds really easy, but there is a level of trust that needs to be met among all parties involved and that is when it gets hard. Setting up trust is hard, but it is the first step in collaborating, so it's important.

So how am I going to conflict my conflicts? Normally when a conflict arises I dread it. My body responds with a same dread: my hands become clammy, my stomach begins to churn, my heart pounds, and my face flushes bright red. Thoughts rush through my head: "I wish I could disappear," "I really don't want to do this," "If I just agree with them then it can be over." These aren't necessarily bad thoughts or bad reactions, but they won't get me what I want out of a situation. As a leader, I cannot constantly sit back and let others make the decisions because I wouldn't be fulfilling my duty. Therefore, I need to change my habits. 1. I will take a deep breath to clear my mind and give me added courage. 2. I will reassure myself that my opinion is just as important as everyone else's opinion. 3. I will introduce my own concerns and ask for the concerns of others as well. 4. I will make sure everyone, including myself, has expressed their concerns and also their suggestions. 5. I will then attempt to lead the group in discussing and collaborating together to find a mutual solution.